the meaning of the hummingbird..

The hummingbird is a messenger, a messenger of love.
The hummingbird told us to be messengers and the bridge makers between the linear, technological world of the North and the cyclical, natural world of the South.
We are here to help bind the mind and the heart, the physical and spiritual, so that the eagle and the condor may fly together once again.

one of us, jack, julie or i wrote the above on the picaflor blog while in peru.. i'm not sure which of us..but

our picaflor productions logo is the hummingbird for this reason.. and every day of my life this is truly my goal.. and yet

i woke up this morning tangled in feelings that i find unpleasant.. feelings of really not liking another human.. and always when i feel this way it seems the first place i have to look and prod is within myself... was i feeling this way because i wanted to control another's behavior? what kind of mirror is this person for me? blah.. yuck.. is that really a mirror for myself? ..ugh... i don't want to do this.. pout. the only word that kept appearing to me was EGO... arrgh.. it was not a pretty way to wake up and start the day!

i couldn't find a hummingbird anywhere ethereally or otherwise.

so to clarify and get those feelings right up into my head.. ha ha..

i had to look up the word ego .. and there in the oxford english dictionary i found the answer to something that i often get tangled up..

ego is :that part of the mind which has a sense of individuality and is most consious of self.

so this is a good thing, really, it's how i get a camera in my hand or my feet up a mountain with Lorenzo, and all sorts of things in life... this is how i am appearing on the planet.. a thread in a larger fabric which makes a whole beautiful crazy wild amazing quilt. my ego is what helps me navigate being in form and i really don't have to take it seriously or believe it beyond that. and when i remember that other people's behavior is nothing to do with me i can let go of fussing over it. and if their behavior is actually threatening my ego helps ward off the blows of someone coming at me from an entirely egocentric: centred in the ego;self centered, egotisitcal... perspective..with no thought of how others might feel or how you might affect others.

the difference between the two, i realize now, is what trips me up, and perplexes me... we don't need egocentricty really. i think surely in this time of tremendous change that is becoming more and more evident. if we all had egos and believed there was enough for us all to be gloriously joyful, then egocentricity could just fall into oblivion ...

but it seems we forget that there is enough for us all. we somehow don't really believe that we are all so important. we often still feel it is imperative to express our self importance and flash it around. and also, it's hard to imagine when you are being threatened to still view us all as one.. to remember that there is abundance. how do we do that in the face of adversity? dropping heavy energy what does that mean really? and then i found myself in peru with our little production company , who also happens to be my son and his wife, traveling along the sacred valley with lorenzo and his family.. and really, witnessed people walking their talk.. dropping grievances as fast as they could be accrued. always generous.. never ever operating from an egotistical place. and they face adversity.. never enough money. never enough food.. and in his own village in Q'ero, lorenzo is a very important person and people are jealous of him.. let his llamas go to be eaten by pumas.. etc.. not nice..

yet, never once while with lorenzo and juliana, did they ever utter even the smallest complaint, express anger, or frustration.. his biggest expletive was WOW. and it was real and genuine. if the bus was late. we waited. if it rained we got wet and then we dried off. if we lost something we were sad for a minute and then shrugged it off. while in Machu Picchu, their baby, only three months old, became very sick.. juliana looked worried, but she never once showed any sign of freaking out when their healing methods did not work, she simply took care of her baby until we could get back and get him to a doctor.

what we did do every step of the way was a despacho, a ceremony, where we asked permission of the mountain spirits and expressed GRATITUDE GRATITUDE GRATITUDE. we learned, for real, that if people were horrible to you, it was sad, perplexing, but not something you attached to. being hungry is a genuine problem and so when there is food. you thank mama pacha for it.. being with our Q'ero family for a month was one of the greastest lessons in letting go of attachment to control.. letting go of FEAR. that is letting go of heavy energy... they not only shared themselves, their lineage and ancient knowledge, but a beautiful, simple peaceful way through the world. lorenzo and juliana are absolutely secure in their egos and absolutely without egocentricity.. and never lose, even in the face of real adversity, their ability to express joy. people often ask me well how does one do this if you aren't in peru with these magical people how does one let go of "heavy energy"? for me the answer is .. wake up..look inside myself..go ughto i don't like this.. rush to the dictionary..ha ha.. and then let it go...stop taking it all so seriously.. really. simply let it go.. it's not mine .. what is mine is a HUGE GIANT LOVE and JOY.. and if others try to take that from me..well let them try.. it's none of my business.. my business is to be the hummingbird ... fly with my heart right on out there!!! whooo eee.. thank you my dear Q'ero family.. gracias gracias gracias.. munay. so a nice little north american ceremony is to breathe and remember that.. we are all the humminbird for real!!

Munay munay munay and muchas gracias xxx

ok and just a btw.. now i get to really see if i can walk my talk because sitting here minding my own business i was just stung by a bee. i am ALLERGIC to bees. hmm. so while i'm waiting to see if i have to stab myself with an epi pen.. i get to say.. yes sometimes people and things are dangerous.. they still cannot take away your inner being of joy..

and it is the fall equinox.. time for going within... i seem to still be breathing so phew. deep breath...

i'm letting it go!!!

iva