more photos. Herondale Farm

  the first asparagus.  spring is here
the barn through an apple tree
he who cannot be blamed for grumpy moods :)
the farmer and his dog underneath the snag (a standing dead or dying tree.)
giving the dream the slip!

Giving the dream the slip.

New Mexico in April
High up on a cliff overlooking the desert. a hot hard wind pushing against my back. Enormous Rocks growing out of the red dirt like petrified mythical creatures. Two headed panthers and snakes and dragons. 2 ravens fly overhead bickering at each other tilting crazy like in the wind. And then the wind falls away. I close my eyes. For a brief second no sound at all. No chatter in my head. Nothing. Emptiness. And then the wind again but still only wind between my ears blowing away the thoughts  like dust.

New Mexico smells like hot baked sage even when it’s cold. The farm smells wet even when it’s dry.

Now am back at the farm and happy to be here and missing New Mexico all at once. the other morning I started to get all twirled around in my mind. Little tap tap tap of the grumps began to rise up and I started feeling all sad and blue, who knows why. (Maybe because I like the smell of hot baked sage better than wet cow poop, you know really urgent things like that.) Anyway, what ever the reason, I was really believing this grumpy mood.  I Believed it was serious and believed that the grumps were me.  (And probably my husbands fault if nothing else.)   And then remembered what Gini Gentry said when we were fiercely shining a light around in my shadows and talking about her work.  (or talking about remembering)

“We all bought into the dream honey, it’s just whether or not we’re willing to give the dream the slip.”

Oh yes, the slip, I thought. Yes, yes, that’s what I want to do. Give the dream the slip and find myself awake.    When I remembered that I also remembered that I’m not New Mexico or the farm and that my husband cannot create or take away my mood (darn, love to have someone to blame things on) and neither can the smell of cow poop. I turned away from the voices in my head that I’m so attached to and believe are me. I let there be silence. one brief second. and then the thoughts. and then a few more seconds of silence and before i knew it the grumps had slunk away and joy had crept in. I looked out the window at the softly budding trees and the calves gamboling around and my camera waiting for me with the last of the beloved Polaroid film.

Gini is the most wonderful teacher. Check out her blog.
www.dreamingdownheaven.blogspot.com

These images were taken outside Cerillos New Mexico and to follow are Herondale Farm.

Excellent News!!!!!

It seems that Tammi and her crew are being released!!!!
here is the latest email from Chris. so now i can breathe again. and dance and sing with out an underlying worry in my heart.

About an hour ago, we heard from the State Department that the release has taken place officially!
We were hoping to have phone/email contact with Tammi et al by now, but realize there is a lot going on and it's midnight there. We do know that they are being put up in a nice hotel and reportedly relaxed in the lobby and had a drink! The embassy reports them to be tired, but in good health. They have total freedom at this point, although must report back to receive their belongings and complete official paperwork on Friday AM. They will be accompanied by the US Embassy officials for that meeting. The State Department considers that a routine procedure (yes, it makes me nervous that they have to go back on Friday)....

I will contact you all once again as soon as I have talked to Tammi. God, I can't wait to hear her voice.

Thanks again for everything each of you has done!

Chris

Holding Tammi in the light

So still Holding Tammi in the light and taking my friend Lee's advice to help bring the light by staying there myself. Well, that's not exactly what he said but how I'm taking it.

For me one of the greatest pleasures in life is wandering over the land with my battered pinhole camera and a dog or two at my heels. This image was taken on our farm in upstate new york last july around 5:30 am. I was busy watching nature, in full wonder at the silence, the feeling that no body was there except me and the quiet burbling brook and the birds swooping slowly over the swamp grass. Suddenly I felt eyes on me. hmm. who would be out there with me in the swamp so early in the morning? I couldn't see any other human. I wondered if I should feel nervous and then through the grass, about a hundred yards away I saw them. Three young deer, watching me intently. They didn't seem afraid. They didn't run when I loaded film into my camera. They just peered at me calmly and I imagined they were wondering what this strange human was doing so early in the day. They were just out of range for me to capture them watching me on film. But it didn't matter. It wasn't meant to be recorded that way I suppose.

And so I learned that while I thought I was watching nature. Nature was watching me. Or well, we are all one, part of the same great plan. And even without a physical image I revisit the moment and try and begin all days with that feeling.

Tammi, I hope these thoughts can reach you!!


xx
Iva

Thinking about Tammi

My friend Tammi set off for Nigeria to help make films that bring light to the world and now it seems she and the crew have been arrested on charges of espionage.    There is only  one certainty to this story.  Neither Tammi, nor the people she is traveling with are spies.  It seems after that there is nothing certain.  No one is quite sure where they are or how long they will be held.   Everyone is concentrating on positive thoughts. 

Her husband, Chris,  said this in an email  

" Please say a prayer for Tammi,  not only for her safety, and the safety of their group,  but also that she may STAY CONNECTED TO HER BIG STORY... she knows she is more than her ego body and she is committed to acting from that higher knowingness.    My prayer is that she stay deeply connected to that knowingness.   From there,  she is always safe."  

And so Tammi,  I am holding that thought for you.    That you can stay connected to your truest essence and that will hold you through this ordeal.  

It is not a revelation nor a particularly original understanding that shining light into the shadows can be a dangerous endeavor but it is very sobering when the lives of our friends are endangered simply because they have the courage to take action.    

So many of our lives here in America are sheltered from any understanding of how our lifestyle impacts the rest of the world and contributes to terrible suffering. 

I am filled with admiration for Tammi and the rest of the crew for not making the easy choices. For choosing to leave the cosseted generic environment that so much of America can be and to strike out to help change this.  

Tammi,  I am thinking constantly of your safe return!  I am holding you in my thoughts and imagining you emerging from the shadows back into the light.  

xxx

Iva